“Oh, no! I’m wearing the wrong glasses – AGAIN!”
Some years ago I noticed my eyesight was changing. So, after many hours of eye exercises that didn’t seem to work for me, I saw the optometrist, who told me that my lenses were deteriorating – no amount of exercise was going to change that. I was farsighted and getting more so every year.
Okay, I figure – it’s just another turn in my life that I can deal with as I go along. Glasses is certainly NOT the end of my eyesight. I chose a nice set of glasses and could once again see clearly. As a fashion statement, my new glasses looked good on me, too. Cool!
Some years later, I lost my glasses. I endured without them for a while then figured it was time to get some new ones. This time, though, I was going for bifocal lenses. My original pair used “progressive” lenses so I was continually having to move my entire head to view different areas across my two computer screens where I worked everyday. Headaches were the common result of that exercise. So, I figured bifocals would take care of that.
The one problem with bifocals was that they were made so I could focus on only two distances – my computer screen and my keyboard – but NOT for driving or outdoor activities. My old glasses improved both my distant and close sight, so were great for driving – and were lost!
Fortunately, I found my old glasses shortly after I bought the new ones (of course, Mr. Murphy!).
Now I have two pairs of glasses – for two usage cases.
So, back to the beginning of this post… There I was, a mile or so away from home noticing that I’m squinting to see things. It’s obvious to me that I’m wearing the wrong glasses for the usage case!
This morning in conversation with one of my sons concerning his feelings about another person, I realized that his emotion glasses were affecting how he was “seeing” his world. I’ve heard it said before, and yet this morning it hit me squarely between the eyes, so to speak. He and the person he was speaking about were wearing the “wrong glasses.” Both were wearing their “betrayal” glasses and so saw their universe only as it appears through that lens.
“Wrong glasses!”
When I wear the wrong glasses in the current use case, I see things as blurry, and sometimes as double-images. It’s very off-putting. I don’t blame the world for this condition – I realize it’s not the fault of the glasses, either. The world is fine and so are the glasses. I’ve just forgotten and used the wrong glasses for the use case I’m in.
With a simple slap of my forehead and a hearty “Oops! Wrong glasses – AGAIN!” (maybe some expletives thrown in for good measure), I reach into my shirt pocket where I keep my “other glasses” and replace them on my face! Result – clear vision!
No amount of cursing, blaming, or wishing will change my blurry vision when I’m wearing the wrong glasses. Only replacing them with the right pair will do the trick for me.
My process:
- NOTICE! I could continue cruising down the road cursing at the blurry images I’m seeing – along with attendant increase in negative emotion; maybe blame myself for having bad vision (e.g.,”I’m a bad person”); maybe allow my eyes to overexert themselves as I haplessly and hopelessly try to focus on one blurry image after another (resulting in realization of less and less life force energy) – OR – I can NOTICE that everything is out of focus and maybe…
- QUESTION my [emotional] condition. “Could I be wearing the wrong emotion glasses?”
- TEST. I can test my hypothesis by trying on another pair of glasses to see what changes. Through sensation, my body will tell me fairly soon which pair of glasses I’m wearing. If my [life’s] vision becomes clearer by changing emotion glasses, then I’m probably choosing the correct lens for this particular use case.
- DO SOMETHING USEFUL about it. Noticing, questioning, and testing alone will not replace my glasses – I must DO something in order for that to happen. I could DO nothing and continue as is – with all the attendant issues enumerated in item 1 above – OR – I could simply select the correct pair of glasses and put them on instead.
Thinking about your perceptions in terms of which lenses you’re wearing tends to change how you feel about the situation and how much impact you have on it. For example, when I feel angry, I tend to also feel powerless about it – maybe blaming and striking out – never “in charge” of my anger.
When I realize that what I’m viewing in the incident is blurred by my anger lenses, I can then take charge of the situation by “changing lenses.” Also – and this is especially significant – I AM NOT WRONG for wearing the wrong lenses. I’ve simply put on the wrong glasses – that’s all. Sure, I can feel frustrated for choosing the wrong glasses – yet, soon enough, I’ll figure out a way to keep the right glasses close by just in case. Eventually, I’ll build habits to wear the right glasses in the appropriate use cases.
Like any skill, choosing appropriate glasses for each use case takes some practice. It also takes some practice to notice when you’re wearing the wrong glasses. Practice (as in “play with the idea of”) wearing different emotion glasses now and then – with practice, you’ll realize and embody the concept – and take more conscious direction of your life.
Putting on my glasses for this use case… See you [more clearly] later!
