When playing a game, I’ve found it useful and beneficial to know that I’m playing (awareness), that I understand the rules (how I play), and that I comprehend its purpose (why I play).
I must play the Memory Match Game because I need to be in control of my world, which I do through matching up past beliefs to present ones. For this reason and because I’ve automated much of the Game, I can become unaware that I’m playing.
As we discussed earlier, I use the Memory Match Game to justify my judgments, which, in effect, justify my being. I also use the Memory Match Game to avoid loss of self in a dimension in which I believe in separation. Justification is my “proof” that I exist – and which I experience as a sense of security/safety.
I play the Game to:
- Defend my separateness
- Be consistent with my truth
- Avoid change
- Avoid the unknown
- Justify judgments, actions, and etc.
- Reward those who agree with me
- Defend against what I consider a threat
- Believe I need to be right
- Avoid being perceived as wrong
- Convince others of my truth – rightness
- Control present reality
- And etc…
Playing the Memory Match Game appears to satisfy my need for control because at my core I fear being out of control. This fear of impending failure, I initiated the Game quite early on in my life and it keeps me engaged with it to this day. I no longer WANT to play the Game, yet, since I automated it – I MUST play it.
Playing the Game helps me identify my present dependent, unstable state with my past apparently stable understanding (justifying the belief that, “I am the composite of all my past experiences”).
Must I Continue to Play the Match Game?
As I accept that life is constantly changing, I free myself from the need to prove that it remains static and so is, therefore, safe. Time out! Then…
“To move forward, I must… …pass through the death of my need to be validated – leaving my fear of being wrong behind.” (Aha Zone – Third Degree of Illumination)