One of the cardinal characteristics of Second Degree of Illumination awareness is psychological resistance. I sometimes refer to it as defensiveness. What is it you resist: A change? Yourself? Someone you don’t like? A concept you find difficult to understand?
According to Newton’s Law of Inertia, opposition to change is a natural physical law. I like to think I obey the law – which gives me little comfort when I’m suffering from a case of inner conflict!
In my world, I know what is right and oppose all challenges to that! Maybe my opposition extends to anything resembling a challenge. That is, I oppose everything I think might appear different from what I think it should appear.
Resisting Acceptance of Self
Resisting keeps me firmly within bubble awareness. This protects my conscious awareness from the imagined “horrors” of Fourth Degree of Illumination acceptance of personal accountability. Within the bubble, I define accountability in terms of blame. I don’t want to be blamed, so I avoid liability or assign it to “others.”
Trouble with blame is that, as the owner of my perceptual world, there is no one outside me to accept it! So, blame goes down as an attribution error – full of pain! I don’t like pain and, yet, here I am – producing it for myself by resisting. And, the more I resist the pain, the more pain I feel. Egad!
How to Transform Resistance into Self Acceptance
Resistance is an essential element of awareness, without which I’d notice nothing. Like you need friction in order to feel something, the reason you notice something is because it represents a concept that resists the oblivion of unawareness.
What might happen were you to take charge of your struggle against acceptance? How would acknowledging your creation affect your experience as a human in a world of your own imagination?
Through my recent practice of meditation, I’m coming to a realization that I am the creator of my perceptions. This awareness transforms psychological resistance into acceptance and gratitude.
When you feel physical pain, emotional distress, or mental struggle, meditate on questions like these:
- What/who do I resist right now? (alt: What/who do I fear/need?)
- How do I resist it/them? (alt: How does that fear/need appear?)
- Why do I resist it/them? (alt: What do I get out of fearing/needing this?)
- Who am I as a result of resisting this/them? (alt: What/who does my fear/need affect?)
(IMPORTANT – listen for a question! If you hear an answer, it’s probably your ego speaking your expectation – confirming your current belief! Just ask the question and listen to the silence.)
I may then meditate on positive affirmations that support self-acceptance. For example:
- I accept who I am now.
- All my perceptions reflect who I think I am.
- I am the creator of my perceptions.
- I love everyone when I love myself.
Within First-Second Degree of Illumination bubble awareness, meditation is a form of personal responsibility that serves to awaken a sleeping Self. This affords me opportunities for Third Degree of Illumination choice, which then opens my awareness to Fourth Degree of Illumination acceptance of self-accountability.
