Measuring Imagination

I live in a bubble of my own imagination in which I seek to measure everything. How is that even possible?

It seems paradoxical to measure by assigning values to what can’t be measured in value. It’s like holding conflicting realities simultaneously knowing they are an illusion. All the while defending those illusions of value and projecting them as truth.

Measuring Imagination

I like measuring, “How could I/you/they do better?” I call these “‘fonly” measurements – “If only I/you/they would have… [done something different than I/you/they did]… things would be better.” If better, how much better? It’s an impossible measurement because I’m basically measuring my limited perspective.

Is there anything in this universe that I’m aware of that does not exist as a concept within my mind? Does everything in my sensual perception belong to that subjective universe because it’s in my mind? Is objective reality a figment of my [subjective] imagination?

Perhaps creative imagination exists only where the concepts of diversity and contrast separate aspects of one concept.

I Question That

Let’s consider some useful questions in this regard:

  1. WHAT is separate? By separate I mean perceiving a unit apart or by itself. For example, I distinguish you from me, and etc.
  2. HOW and HOW MUCH is this separate from that? Judgments allow me to measure the poles of a concept – the maximums and minimums – and apply a comparison to those poles. “How light or dark is it?” (compared to the max/min light or dark). Perhaps what we think are opposites are actually compatible complements that validate one another as separate.
  3. WHY is it necessary to measure separation? By measuring that which I perceive as separate, I get a nuanced experience that validates a sense of being separate.
  4. WHO is doing the separation? When I focus on me, I can feel whole as one person and I can shift focus to separation mode. One person, many creative perspectives, where imagination is the virtual game board – life.

How My Life Story Controls My Life

Due to my perception of ever-present danger inside the First and Second Degree Illumination bubble, I do whatever I can to control my life. I’m building what I believe is a safe representation of who I am in story form. My “documentary,” is a collection of memories, a string of emotional interpretations. Fear of not being right about my memories leads me to trust them when maybe I shouldn’t.

My story is actually a history of defense. I trust my memories to keep me feeling secure in the bubble.

What if I challenge my trust in my story? Would that challenge or invalidate my story? Would my story invalidate my life? How do I survive without a story I can justify? Do I need my memories to appear in chronological order to validate my belief in time?

Who’s in Charge Here?

Read more How My Life Story Controls My Life

Defending My Interpretations

My interpretations link with other interpretations to help me feel consistent, validated and safe.

When I experience suffering, I link to previous interpretations of suffering that have defended my story and which validate my current reality of suffering.

No matter how I struggle to change my yet unregulated responses to experience, as long as I believe my core program is consistent, that suffering is “real.” I will continue to interpret my experiences as suffering. It’s a positive feedback loop that sustains and strengthens my resolve to defend the reality of suffering over time.

Read more Defending My Interpretations