My Standard of Measurement

In my bubble awareness world, I want MY standard to be THE standard for perceiving subjective reality. That works fine until the inevitable crash against objective reality, at which point I want a scapegoat.

To measure anything, I must define the subjective in terms of objective value. That is, it must be compatible with the physical boundaries of sensory and technological capability of the one doing the measuring. For example, an objective measurement requires counting and comparing the distances between fixed points of objects to determine their relative dimensions.

There’s a problem with objective measurements – the standards question. That is, according to what standard of measurement? For the most part, we set “objective” measurements according to an agreement. A meter is a meter ONLY among those who agree to that standard. Even when the unit of measurement is “independent” – as it is with the speed of light – it only becomes a standard when everyone using it agrees. That is NOT entirely objective – it is largely subjective.

Let’s reduce that “not entirely objective, largely subjective” standard to how I experience it. Everything I perceive with my senses appears to be “something” that seems to me to BE what it is – even when I’m not perceiving it. That’s how it SEEMS. And yet, that which SEEMS is not always that which IS.

Subjective as Objective

Simply because I WANT something to be objective – according to a solidly objective standard – doesn’t mean it IS that way. Consider WHO is DOING the perceiving – ME. You, them, even me exist ONLY as I imagine us to be. It APPEARS that I’m sensing you separate from me – standard perception. Yet, when one gets down to it, that perception of separation boils down to subjective imagination. I IMAGINE you as you, them as them, me as me.

From that standpoint, the concept of perception is merely a figment of my imagination – everything is as it is because I imagine it that way. Agreement is simply my way of imposing and defending my standard as the standard.

Values are imaginary “standards” I attach to perception that serve as a means of providing me a SENSE of objective life that can be compared. That is, I perceive I’m alive at some imagined value compared with my imagination of else-wise. And that according to some level of perceptual agreement with myself. My baseline for comparison with all else is the standard I apply to my perceptual sense of self. Subjective – FEELS objective – GOOD ENOUGH for me!

Standards beg some interesting questions:

WHAT standards am I applying to my perception?

HOW much value am I applying to that perception?

WHY that value?

WHO am I?

To succeed in life, I feel I must earn my value by being right all the time – the more right, the more value. What value? According to what standard? It seems most religions and societies have an answer to this question of standards. And yet…

What if I’m wrong about my perception of objective reality? What if there IS NO OBJECTIVE REALITY? Could objective reality be a subjective illusion?

I wonder…

Was This a Mistake?

“What mistake?”

In my bubble awareness, I experience fear as dread of my decision-making due to buyer’s remorse and post dissonance. After I’ve made a choice, a fearful afterthought of regret sets in motion more dread.

These afterthoughts are personal attacks or self-judgements based on self-doubt.

From the perspective of regret, I question myself about patterns of perceived mistakes,

  • “What’s wrong with me?”
  • “How could I make such a mistake?”
  • “Why can’t I do anything right?”
  • “Who do I think I am?”

From a conscious perspective, I question myself about patterns of perceived mistakes,

  • “What is the cause of my fear of making this choice?”
  • “How does my fear of making a mistake affect this choice?”
  • “Why am I perceiving this choice as a mistake?”
  • “Who am I to fear making this choice?”

How does fear affect my choices?

With practice, patterns of self-doubt develop into patterned thought-forms that automatically affect my ability to choose. Those defenses protect and validate patterns of regret, resulting in shame, blame, and guilt.

My present dread cause me to recall other times I made choices and felt the regret of making those mistakes about my choices. Such over-generalization (e.g., “I always make mistakes.” and “I can never be right!”) impose restrictions on any potential opportunities for making new choices. This affects my self-image (e.g.,”I’m a mistake!”) and consequently everything I perceive from that perspective.

Why would I allow fear to influence my choices?

I like to think I’m always choosing what’s best for me, yet, my choices often say different. Could I be protecting my past failed choices by validating that I can’t make good choices in the present? It’s possible that I’m merely defending what I believe cannot be changed. From my bubble awareness, I’m implying that I am my past mistakes. Because I am a mistake, I can’t help but make mistakes.

Who’s in charge?!

My need to maintain a specific self-image keeps me in check from changing that image. No matter how I doll that image up and set it on a pedestal, it’s still the same self image. How do I get out of this corner I’ve painted myself into?

Making mistakes is what choice is all about – each mistake offers an opportunity to consider another way of experiencing. What if choice is more of a game of chance than a test of what’s right and wrong?

Whose game is this?

Fear, Control, Choice, and Measurement

I am part of a species that likes to measure things. It’s a characteristic of bubble awareness, in which we compare and compete to control. All measurements require four elements that I can frame in four familiar questions:

  1. What is measured?
  2. How is it measured?
  3. Why is it measured?
  4. Who is doing the measuring?

In any measurement there is a standard that represents an agreement among those who do measurements. For example, a unit of distance measurement only works when everyone who uses it agrees to the same standard. Because the measurement game is about control, I abide by standards of control. Measurement is all about fairness, a subject of mythology we’ve discussed previously.

We know we can objectively measure the effects of physical forces like gravity and the strong and weak forces of electromagnetism. And because we can measure the effects of these things in our world, we seek to measure the effects of things within us that are non-physical, like thoughts and emotions, that affect us physically. I seek to impose an imaginary balance between these two worlds to control them.

How Do I Measure the Subjective?

There are forces within me that I seek to master. I mean those elements of perception that I experience as personal – emotions, preferences, thoughts, biases, and etc.

Measure things is part of a program of mastership over my creation, which I sense as control. I seek to control forces because I don’t like living under compulsion. I seek to control because I don’t like living with restrictions. All these likes and dislikes live within my subjective world. Can I measure fear in the same way? How could one determine its dimensions?

Of all the “things” in my subjective world, fear is the only one that controls me and I feel a need to impose on others. Could I measure those subjective aspects against other aspects of thought? I recognize that I am part of a group that has its own measurement standards that affect my personal and subjective affect measurements. Those include my “do’s” and “do not’s”, “rights” and “wrongs” – that justify and validate my experience with control.

Within bubble awareness, I experience this kind of control as choice, which represents the subjective conflict between compared concepts. Choice is often a matter of measuring, comparing, and then controlling – providing a sense of freedom without actually being freedom. Control is still control even when it appears as a free choice. I FEEL good about my choice, so I must BE a good person – under control. Confirmation bias confirms my judgment of the choice, therefore, I AM FREE! It is still control – over me – that I must defend. Where’s the freedom in that?


What if I transform control into direction in my world? Direction invites where control forces. Directions points in A direction rather than in THE direction.

Besides, direction is more energy efficient than control. It’s energy expensive to control and coerce. It’s just as energy expensive to live controlled. When I transform control into direction, I can utilize many more options without experiencing overwhelm of the entire subject.

By breaking down the unimaginably large into manageable, measurable smaller parts, I can much more easily comprehend, appreciate, and direct EACH to imagine and realize the WHOLE.

Ultimately I seek to realize myself outside bubble awareness – merging my personal consciousness with universal consciousness – where fear, control, and choice no longer have a measurable place. It’s simply a place of honoring.

Intention and Fulfillment

No matter how determined the baby is, it won’t derive nourishment from sucking its thumb. No matter how determined an intention may be, it can’t fulfill a want without an appropriate action.

My Intention turns What into Why

You may believe you know what you want and how to get it. Yet, when frustrations come, you may not know to ask why you didn’t get what you wanted. Once I establish routine patterns of thoughts and actions, questioning them becomes difficult. We may live with routine frustration and failure, never knowing why we hurt or how we lost our sense of purpose. Our behaviors tell more about us than our thoughts and feelings. Yet, once acceptance of failure and frustration have been implemented there seems no need to question them – “It simply is what it is.”

There is always an intention with every action, though you may not be aware of it. The results of your intentions and actions is feedback to your understanding.

Sometimes I interpret feedback as frustration. Yet, frustration and failure need not be the focus. Understanding your intentions helps you accept accountability for them. Meditate on these four questions to illuminate your hidden intentions:

  • What do I need and deny in this experience?
  • How does this experience illustrate that need and denial?
  • Why do I need and deny this?
  • Who am I because of my need and denial?

The answers to why we think, feel, and do as we do may stem from one cause, one specific intention. Knowing that cause is the smoking gun of opportunity, which offers us power over frustration and failure! Intentions may be a natural characteristic of life, yet, their fulfillment requires a clearer understanding of them.

When I question why I believe I am who I am, I reveal my intention, and the frustration and failure I felt transforms into –

I love who I am.

How I Morph a Want into a Need Feed

And what I can do about it!

“When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you’ll be successful…” (Eric Thomas – AKA ET The Hip Hop Preacher)

This new age saying is nothing new. It expresses the concept that we must fight to accomplish anything of value. That value determines the worth of people, things, thoughts, and behaviors. That success for one means defeat for another. Success and failure are measured in terms of value. To be of value, one must succeed. These concepts live within the First-Second Degree of Illumination bubble awareness.

I have values. I value my own opinion and those of certain others who agree with me. Certain activities carry value for me. I use value to assist me in judging, comparing, balancing, and separating. I even use value to evaluate values. Everything in my world has a value to me – usually experienced in terms of importance.

The value of a perception of threat must rise to a certain level of importance to me before I invest in defense. That threshold allows me to prioritize my thoughts and behaviors, saving precious life force energy. After all, defense is a feed, a draw on life force energy. So, the fewer times I have to call upon defense, the more energy I have available for useful (to me) work.

While appearing to provide value, defense diminishes the resources required to satisfy the need for which it was invoked. Therefore, I tend to have few needs compared to wants. And needs tend to elicit far more value than wants. Unless, that is, I transform a lower-value want into a higher-value need.

When want-fulfillment becomes more important than the lives and properties of those involved, a want transforms into a need and a feed is born! That feed includes the want-turned-need and its satisfaction through forced attainment and contrived justification. A value-elevated want can justify the feed that justifies a need and the actions taken to satisfy it.

Turning a Want into a Need Feed

I’ve expressed personal worth in terms of comparative value – “You’re a better man than I am.” I may define strength of will as a comparable value as well – “You’re so much stronger than I am.” When these values climb to need levels, I hear things like, “You’re the best man for the job!” and, “You’re the strongest person I know!” These are setups for need feeds!

By assigning value, I can morph a non-physical want into a physical quest for survival. The higher the value I assign to a want, the more specific the object of my desire must be. That “must be” is how I turn a want into a need.

In elevating a want into a need, I simplify my choices – by narrowing acceptable outcomes. Needs tend to narrow choices to one – simple. Wants tend to allow more options. For example, “I want a drink” allows many forms of satisfaction, “Yeah, a coke will do.” “I need a drink” means only whiskey will do. Simple non-choice default, the implication of which is, “I can’t live without it” – thus, the need feed!

Although elevating a want to need status can energize my mind and heart into working together to provide the value I seek in satisfaction, my mind and heart will feel the result of a need feed.

When turning a want into a need, I might ask myself how important are the specifics of each answer:

What do I want? (the objective)
How do I get it? (the strategy)
Why do I need it? (the want-need switch)
Who am I that needs this? (my self-image in this case)

How might I recover the energy of a want-turned-need?

I like to listen for the words, “need”, “must”, “can’t”, “have to”, “only”, and “should” to help me identify my need feeds. When I hear one, I think to myself, “What do I actually need in this situation?” and notice how this changes the energy of my situation.