sacrifice

The Sacred Secret

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When I was an infant, I didn’t ask questions – I just cried, ate, slept, and pooped. As I grew older, I asked questions about things I didn’t understand – my mother would argue I had a “why” question for just about anything at all. No matter the answer I’d get, I tended to accept my understanding of it as the truth. After all, I was asking my parents who were gigantic and therefor gods to me. I loved and trusted them because I knew no other way. They were sacred to me. I might question an answer – “And why is that, Mommy?” – but I’d never dream of questioning her or her motives! That was sacred ground not to be trodden.

I was so completely trusting and naive that it never occurred to me that I could question what I was taught. All I knew how to do was to accept what they told me as truth.

It was the beginning of a life-long journey in the sacred land of First-Second Degree of Illumination.

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Relevance of Values and Sacrifice

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Carol and I had another relevant discussion last night in which I realized how arbitrary and illusory are my values. My question last night was, “At what level of value does a sacrifice become acceptable?” Her response was an epiphany for me, “Any level – because how can you place a value on a dream?” That is, how can you say that one dream is more valuable than another – or one aspect of a dream more important than any other aspect? You can’t! All aspects are equally subjective and therefore irrelevant to value.

First, let me define value –

“the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.” (Google)

To which, I ask, “According to who?” That is, who assigns that value? Who determines “the importance, worth, or usefulness of something”?

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Sacrifice and Loss of Personal Value

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I’m sitting at my computer typing this post. Suddenly, I feel the pangs of hunger. I get up and go get something to eat. I feel satisfied for the time-being. Later, I feel dissatisfied – hungry again. Lack -> pain -> movement -> satisfaction -> lack -> pain. It’s another loop. A sacrifice loop!

Why do I call it a sacrifice loop?

At some time in my past, I believed I was less than whole, incomplete. I lacked something. To bring me back up to speed, I had to invest in something – an object that I believed would make me whole again. I repeat this every moment.

Problem is – I was never less than whole. I’ve always been wholly me – I only believed I was otherwise. To accomplish the perception of less-than, I traded my self-as-whole to a false, irrelevant and non sequitur sacrifice formula that I support with physical evidence, emotional energy, and mental certainty:

Lack = Needs = Pain = ME!

It’s a formula that can never be satisfied because it is untrue. Falsity can never be truth!

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