Reality Confusion to Dream a New You

Sometimes I confuse my dreams with the remembered events from which my dreams derived their emotional elements. Due to confusion in attribution, I sometimes believe I am remembering real events when those memories are actually my remembrances of dreams instead.

For example, an event of the day results in me feeling overpowered by my boss. That night, I dream I am being chased by a bear. Upon awakening in the morning, I imagine my partner is acting abusively toward me. In this case, the attribution of the emotion of powerlessness travels from boss to dream bear to partner.

Out of Attribution Confusion

Knowing that memories are fallible and subject to errors in attribution, I reconfirm that I can manipulate memories – through dreams molded to help support how I want to feel today. Maybe you can change the details of your memories to support a new you.

What if you chose to restructure your dreams from a perspective of gratitude rather than victim-hood?

“How do I do that?” you might reasonably ask. I can control a dream using lucid dreaming in which I realize I’m dreaming while I’m dreaming. This is a very powerful imagery because it includes full sensory engagement – a real experience. That’s one way to manipulate emotionally charged memories.

Comes a New You

Another method is to perform a simple bedtime exercise. As you find yourself drifting off to sleep…

  1. Recall a negative emotion-charged memory of an experience you had that day. Just let it flash across the stage of your soon-to-be dreaming mind.
  2. Resist the temptation to ruminate over the memory and how you feel about it. This is NOT about fixing a problem – it’s about confusing attribution.
  3. Then, immediately after recalling the negative event, recall a memory of ANY TIME in your life that supports how you’d rather feel. It’s important that the last memory you entertain before slipping off to sleep is one where you feel strong, capable, happy, and grateful.
  4. Then, let the dreams come.

The idea is to set gratitude as the last emotion just before dropping off to sleep. The dream-attribution mechanism  then presents stories from a baseline perspective of gratitude. That may affect your dream stories and memories of the day. It could also change your overall perspective.

You may not recall your dreams the next morning – that’s okay. The confusion just as you fell asleep may be just enough to confound your dream-attribution mechanism. You may view your emotionally-charged memory of the previous day in a new way. Perhaps you’ll solve a problem associated with that memory or suddenly experience a flash of inspiration concerning it. Who knows?

Practicing this simple exercise just before sleep might just create a new you.

My Standard of Measurement

In my bubble awareness world, I want MY standard to be THE standard for perceiving subjective reality. That works fine until the inevitable crash against objective reality, at which point I want a scapegoat.

To measure anything, I must define the subjective in terms of objective value. That is, it must be compatible with the physical boundaries of sensory and technological capability of the one doing the measuring. For example, an objective measurement requires counting and comparing the distances between fixed points of objects to determine their relative dimensions.

There’s a problem with objective measurements – the standards question. That is, according to what standard of measurement? For the most part, we set “objective” measurements according to an agreement. A meter is a meter ONLY among those who agree to that standard. Even when the unit of measurement is “independent” – as it is with the speed of light – it only becomes a standard when everyone using it agrees. That is NOT entirely objective – it is largely subjective.

Let’s reduce that “not entirely objective, largely subjective” standard to how I experience it. Everything I perceive with my senses appears to be “something” that seems to me to BE what it is – even when I’m not perceiving it. That’s how it SEEMS. And yet, that which SEEMS is not always that which IS.

Subjective as Objective

Simply because I WANT something to be objective – according to a solidly objective standard – doesn’t mean it IS that way. Consider WHO is DOING the perceiving – ME. You, them, even me exist ONLY as I imagine us to be. It APPEARS that I’m sensing you separate from me – standard perception. Yet, when one gets down to it, that perception of separation boils down to subjective imagination. I IMAGINE you as you, them as them, me as me.

From that standpoint, the concept of perception is merely a figment of my imagination – everything is as it is because I imagine it that way. Agreement is simply my way of imposing and defending my standard as the standard.

Values are imaginary “standards” I attach to perception that serve as a means of providing me a SENSE of objective life that can be compared. That is, I perceive I’m alive at some imagined value compared with my imagination of else-wise. And that according to some level of perceptual agreement with myself. My baseline for comparison with all else is the standard I apply to my perceptual sense of self. Subjective – FEELS objective – GOOD ENOUGH for me!

Standards beg some interesting questions:

WHAT standards am I applying to my perception?

HOW much value am I applying to that perception?

WHY that value?

WHO am I?

To succeed in life, I feel I must earn my value by being right all the time – the more right, the more value. What value? According to what standard? It seems most religions and societies have an answer to this question of standards. And yet…

What if I’m wrong about my perception of objective reality? What if there IS NO OBJECTIVE REALITY? Could objective reality be a subjective illusion?

I wonder…

What about Will?

I need validation for my beliefs and if I can’t get that in the world I live in, I will find the way that is easiest to achieve it… imagination backed by will. My will doesn’t have to be in harmony with laws or principalities, just in harmony with my desires.

I always interpret reality accurately [enough] for me. At least, I know no better. It appears to me that in every instant, I’m perceiving all there is to perceive to understand it.

I have a capacity to imagine far beyond what I can perceive. For example, I might imagine how it would be to live in a dimension in which gravity was twice what it is in this dimension. That leads me to wonder just how “enough” is enough when it comes to understanding my reality.

Perhaps I imagine being Alice through the looking glass – without, literally, being in her universe. I may convince myself those realities are real enough to experience them. It’s down to imagination backed by will.

What About Will?

THIS dimension in which I believe I exist, is actually my imaginings of it. Through will, I experience a symbolically represented world in which I assign meaning I view as purpose. I make choices based on those meanings and disregard any actual sensual data that might conflict with my perspective. I jump when I perceive a dangerous serpent on the path – rather than jumping because there is a snake on the path. I’m dealing with my imagined reality rather than actual reality.

That gives me a lot of latitude for perception, belief, and experience. It also gives me access to “worlds without end” – multiple universes and multiple dimensions.

Imagine that!

Black and White, Grayscale, and Color Thinking

He uses colorful language. That’s colorful thinking. The world is so gray today. He sees the world in black and white. Such a colorful perspective! In bubble awareness, I visually sense a range of frequencies, amplitudes, and conditions. These match closely to modes of thinking.

Black and White

I’ve experienced the world in black or white binary in which I insist on only this way or that way. Once I was job hunting and went to an interview with the owner of a shop I wanted to work in. The owner told me, “There’s only two ways in this shop: my way or the highway.” I looked elsewhere for a job. Both he and I were viewing our world in the duality of binary thinking. On OR off, zero OR one, this OR that.

Right OR wrong thinking is one dimensional: the world of “only.” To the degree I MUST be right, proper, or justified, I’ll see the world in only black or white. This way of thinking limits my world to the contrast of borders that define my reality.


Monochrome grayscale adds more flexibility to binary thinking. In grayscale, I can experience how much. I can experience some anger, some happiness, some agreement, some of this or some of that. Grayscale thinking adds the shading of intensity to my world.


Color adds emotion to monochrome that may represent the conflicts I experience as I work to defend binary thinking in terms of inclusion – this and that. You see (pardon the pun), color perception includes elements of binary and monochrome – definition and intensity and relationship.

In digital terms:

  • I can express black or white in terms of zero OR one on a scale of 1. ex: 0=black, 1=white on a scale of 0-1
  • Grayscale in terms of zero or one on a scale greater than one. ex: 00=black, 11=dark gray, 22= light gray, 33=white on a scale of 0-3 in each position
  • Color in terms of zeroes and ones on a scale greater than 1. ex: 001=dark blue, 010=dark green, 500=bright red, 550=bright yellow, and etc. on a scale of 0-5 in each position rrr-ggg-bbb

In psychological terms, I ask questions in order after encountering something:

  1. Black and white – Is that which I’ve encountered a threat or benefit to me/us (Yes/No)?
  2. Monochrome – How much of a threat or benefit is it (on an imaginary scale based on values)?
  3. Color – when items 1 and 2 are satisfied, what are nuances of interest, such as emotion and wonder?

Black may be considered the construct upon which all else builds. It’s the zero condition, nothingness, primal. Anything added to black, other than black, builds something.

White is what one gets when they add all colors together – it represents all. To get monochrome or color, one must subtract from white or add to black.

Because I see color, I realize that I see less than all and more than nothingness. I see separation from poles – the middle way.

Measuring Values Creates Polarity

In a First-Second Degree of Illumination bubble, values rule! Values and comparisons seem to work well together. I don’t think I would have the ability to choose without them.

Comparing values may be an ambiguous, non-standardized way for measuring what deserves my attention. To make a measurement, one needs a scale upon which to make a comparison. Scales involve polarity.

One type of scale requires polarities that define the outer limits or extent of the most extreme expected measurement. Another requires a balance point between two polarities. Each type of scale requires common content and context in which to make a measurement. Hence, the old saying, “You can’t compare apples to oranges…”

I seek what validates my preset values. The amount of attention I invest in a thing is the measurement of its value on that preset scale. In this way I can compare worthiness in terms of threats and benefits to my survival on a scale I understand.

Chronic value measuring keeps my mind occupied in creating and maintaining a standard, a quick reference guide to survival. At the top of my standards list is the greatest threat or benefit to my survival.

My need to be right creates polarity and a lifetime of measuring values

I believe I know how I should understand my reality. I have learned to trust my ability to measure values and accept them as accurate and true.

Polarity demands certitude

When I get close to certainty of my value judgments, I’m getting dangerously close to valuing myself at one end or pole of that scale. The closer my attention is to the poles of my value scale, the less likely I am to be fluid with my measurements, and the more likely I am to become certain and immovable. Certitude tends to lock down my scale – including its polarities.

To investigate this phenomenon, I like to get quiet and ask my inner wisdom:

  1. What do I value?
  2. How do I measure it?
  3. Why do I measure it?
  4. Who am I as I move towards polarity?

By asking these questions within, my deeper mind can search for its truths and help my conscious mind…

  • know and understand the real me.
  • reveal misunderstandings I’ve created that have supported a false me.
  • stop measuring myself, knowing I need no setting of values.