“You are what you eat,” is a phrase I’ve used inside the duality of First-Second Degree of Illumination bubble awareness, in which I feed along with every other life-form on earth. It’s a natural law of the physical world! How might this feed occur on other levels of my being – mental and etc. – to validate my existence at each level? How can I use that information to recognize who I am in a feed mirror?
Sometimes I notice I’m being fed upon as a sense of draining of my personal energy. When I’m feeding on others, I still feel a drain on my energy as I work to satisfy my needs. In every case, I feel my defenses kick into action to protect myself from depletion – which depletes my energy.
Who is this Depletor of which you speak?
For the most part, I define myself in terms of my perception of others. That means, in effect, that I’m dependent upon my imagination of you to give me identity. Who I am is who I imagine I am in comparison with my image of you. You and I are systems of competing concepts that I imagine as real.
- You are you because you are not me.
- I am me because I am not you.
Therefore, I can define…
- You in terms of me.
- Me in terms of you.
To me, you are your job, your relationship to me, your physical looks and actions compared to mine, my history with you, and a lot more – ALL imagined by ME. There is no “you”, no “others” – only my perception of you – a perception firmly grounded in an imagined duality that affords comparisons.
I feed on you to identify me.
Basing my identity on a comparative feeling I have about my image of you (as not me), “I feel good/bad about myself compared to someone else.” In a world of duality and comparisons, I feel bad compared to someone else I perceive feels better. I’m okay compared to someone I perceive as not [as] okay.
I define myself in terms of others… therefore… When I feed on you, I perceive I’m depleting you, yet I’m actually taking something from me… This because I’m unaware of WHO I AM.
My identity is who I FEEL I am compared to how I imagine someone else FEELS about themselves. That’s the mirror – sensing how others feel about themselves helps me solidify my definition of me – because I imagine “they” identify themselves in the same way I do.
We are programmed to feed, we can’t deny it and we can’t help it – we have to feed to exist.
Using the mirror!
I am who I think you think I should be. I mirror you, you mirror me. We all feed in front of a mirror that reflects WHO is doing the feeding. To ME, that mirror reflects the real ME no matter who I think I see in the mirror – while I defend myself by interpreting the image as who I am not. I must work to deny who I am, feeding on myself – which depletes my energy!
No matter how satisfying it feels, or how determined the baby is, it will not gain sustenance from sucking its thumb!
Although I sense a feed beyond my five natural senses, the feeding process taps into systems that govern and strongly influence the form of the feeding and the fed upon. I can appeal to my governing systems, the mind and heart, to help me recognize who I am in this feed.
Because the mirror reflects an image of who I am while not itself being who I am, I can identify myself by focusing on the reflection (who I really am) rather than the mirror (what I work to deny).
Consider the following types of feeds. How does each one make you feel? Who are you denying – the real you – in each feed? Add whatever feed you encounter that captures your attention.
- Type of feed (who I am not) – who I really am (that I work to deny in this feed)
- (example) The “victimized” feed – I am powerful!
- The “doomsday” feed
- The “conspiracy” feed
- The “bad things happen to bad people” feed
- The “good things happen to other people (not me!)” feed
- The “I can’t do anything right” feed
- The “Nobody understands me” feed
- The “If only” feed
- The “gossip” feed
- The “should/should not” feed
- The “never enough” feed
- The “labeling” feed
- The “pessimist” feed
- The “know-it-all” feed
- The “unappreciated” feed
- The “you don’t respect me” feed
- The “resentment” feed
- The “regret/shame/blame” feed
- Continue with your own observations… of who you are by what you deny!