Limitation by Design

Do I limit my experience – on purpose?

In my bubble of limited awareness, although I believe I live with trillions of other beings, I alone live within my thoughts. Everything and everyone I experience in this dimension of limitation are literally and figuratively phantasms of my imagination. To me “they” are simply concepts in competition with other concepts. My perception of a walrus, for example, is a concept that competes with my concepts of everything else. I’ve limited my perception of this because it is not everything else.

Everywhere and whenever I notice, I’m faced with solid evidence of limited experience in the form of paradox. That is, nothing is as it appears – ever! Everything appears as a paradox of  unreasonable reasons, illogical logic, timeless timeliness, and perceptions of lack in wholeness.

Adaptation = Limitation!

One explanation for this paradox comes from the theory of evolution. I perceive as I do as a result of millions of generations of adaptation to changing environment. Thanks to Mr. Newton, I now know that evolution follows the law of conservation of energy. Thus, it has keenly honed my senses to perceive me in relation to a limited number of needs-related aspects of my present environment. Rather than to compare me to ALL that is not me, I compare me with only that part of not me that I consider matters to me.

I don’t perceive EVERYTHING – even within the limited space of my own body. Just what I NEED to perceive in order to survive long enough to pass my genes along to the next generation. Those senses, skills, and education I don’t need or don’t use often enough fade away. That’s evolution through adaptation.

Attention = Limitation!

In this way, my mind considers every thing, person, or place as a concept.  To manage the perpetual competition among these concepts, and to avoid overwhelm, I limit the number I’ll attend to at any one time. That’s intentional limitation!

Evolution, then, is the result of a paradox in which one must limit their sensual and conceptual life experience in order to fully live.

Purpose = Limitation!

Perhaps the purpose of my life is not the achievement of wholeness – a paradox in that one cannot achieve what one already is. Rather, maybe my life’s purpose is to notice the enjoyment I get from the paradox of limitation by design.

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The Unless Option

Within my bubble of limited awareness, my policies conceptualize beliefs in the form of conditional statements, “if/when a condition is true, then do the following action…” It’s straight-forward and simple logic – the kind I use everyday. I perceive something so, I apply an action to it – even when that “action” is to do nothing. This, however, does not account for other options.

What happens when I insert “UNLESS” into my formula?

That is,

  • If/When I think a certain condition is true, then I will do a specific action… UNLESS…

The “unless” option introduces a challenge to my certainty about the original condition. Maybe it’s not true as I perceive it. This applies to every aspect of reality – from objective to subjective. Often this comes up when I realize my actions produced a result contrary to my wishes.

The First Action

In every case my first “action” is to process a thought. Thoughts are perhaps the only “things” I can perceive. For example, my companion says something nice to me. From their appearance to their words to my interpretations and judgements of the situation – all my thoughts.

There are times when thinking is the resultant action. What is the thought that prompted it? Because my thought process looks like, “If this condition (an idea/concept), then this action (a further idea/concept that may appear as physical activity)…” UNLESS…

Unless something else is at play here – which prompts me to ask myself some questions that challenge their underlying belief.

  1. “What ELSE could I be perceiving than what I’m perceiving right now?”
    (“My observation of this situation is right, unless…”)
  2. “How ELSE might I perceive this than how I’m perceiving it right now?”
    (“I’m doing the right thing, unless…”)
  3. “Why ELSE might I perceive what I’m perceiving right now?”
    (“My intention is right, unless…”)
  4. “Who ELSE am I than the one perceiving what I’m perceiving right now?”
    (“I am right, unless…”)

When I practice such thought provocation, I break up stuck thought patterns, clarify my intentions, and promote understanding of what I’m creating.

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Introducing Some Cognizance into My Manifestation Process

Defense permeates the process that directs my thoughts, feelings, and actions into manifestation. Because much of what I think, feel, and do in the bubble, happens below my threshold of cognizance, I am unaware of my defenses and their effects. I believe I’m doing the best I can and I work hard at being right.

Based on intention to understand, I’ve built a pretty solid case for this reality I believe and defend. With that level of proof in hand, I resist questioning it. Instead, I put perception of my reality on automatic with assumption. Ego, therefore, replaces observation and rational reasoning with assumption and bias.

The Frustration Loop

Unaware of the replacement, I travel along my imagined story-line cognizant only of threats to which I’ve applied a defense. As defense builds, fear grows to justify it, while cognizance narrows. In time, I build enough trust as a defensive wall around my hidden beliefs that I’m only aware of them as outcomes I cannot control. This, in turn, generates large amounts of emotional energy in the form of frustration.

Because I “just live” the reality without question, frustration builds with defense to the point that I risk unawareness of life itself. Struggles I feel because of that unawareness seem to come from outside my bubble. When I take responsibility for my thoughts, feelings, and actions, I sometimes catch the blame for negative outcomes. This causes me to want to defend even more. What can I do to escape this positive feedback loop of frustration?

Investigation into the source of my defense – my beliefs – may instill some cognizance into the manifestation program. Might that make a difference?

With a cognizance-evoking question, I can expose and then transform these hidden beliefs. After all, the job of the process is to manage my defense of what I believe, perceive, and know. Questioning can expose them to the light of awareness – leading to the possibility of a Third Degree of Awareness choice. The Aha Zone!

Introducing Cognizance with Awareness-Evoking Questions

What might happen when I introduce some cognizance into my process? That would mean questioning my ego assumptions and biases! Like:

  • Who do I believe and obey?
    • Who/what are my trusted authorities?
    • What is really true or false?
    • Is this true?!
  • Why do I believe and obey?
    • How is this true or false?
    • How far am I willing to go to prove I’m right?
      • Why do I trust my reasons?
    • Could I trust and obey someone else instead?
      • Why do I trust my reasons for trusting?
  • How do I put my belief into action?
    • What is my policy on this?
  • What is the outcome of my beliefs and obedience to them?
    • How else might I arrive at this same outcome?
    • What would someone have to believe in order to arrive at this outcome?
    • What does this outcome reveal about what I believe about me?
    • Could this outcome say something else about me than what I perceive in it?
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Questioning Perception to Clarify Choice

How Choice Confirms the Paradox I Intend to Resolve

I rarely think about my intentions when people are agreeable and things are going well. I may still be unaware of my intentions when I act on perceived threats, reverting automatically to defense. This because my focus is on choice as the application of defense of the intention rather than on the intention. Regardless of my intentions, any choice I consider or make within the bubble is in defense of the separation paradox.

Thus, choice defends intention that defends perception.

That seems like a pretty poor strategy for resolving a paradox! How do I intend to resolve a paradox by choosing to confirm it? That sounds a bit confusing to me!

Might confusion be the strategy of choice?

Consider how convinced you feel when reason aligns with perception. When “how” and “why” align with sensory “what” – “I know this is true, because [a logical reason].” As I consider how stubbornly unmovable I get when I feel convinced of my “truth”, a little confusion may indeed be in order.

How does that work?

I use automation, of course! I engage a policy-management, self-regulating process to carry out my choices without question. Think mechanical process – “When this, do that.” Over time and experience, I learn to trust my choices – no questions necessary!

When I choose for, I also choose against. The process defends both sides of the argument. From an energy conservation perspective, it’s brilliant! The same reason I use in defense of one option I favor also defends why I’m right in not choosing another option. In choosing the road to the left, I’ve also chosen not to take the road to the right – for the same reasons.

Although this process manipulates conflicting concepts to maintain a sense of rightness, it adds paradox to paradox.

Let’s Recap!

  1. By perceiving, I set up a fundamental paradox of deficit within wholeness.
  2. I intend to resolve this paradox by setting up a system in which need-fulfillment feels like paradox resolution.
  3. To defend the intention, I create a life story that sets the parameters within which, as the hero, I must satisfy the ultimate need – survival of the paradox!
  4. I sustain the fundamental paradox by masking it behind paradoxical choices.

I can challenge my choices. Why? Because they’re not set in stone! They’re just concepts I’ve accepted as “right” and so, true. By questioning a choice, I open a space for understanding the philosophy and intent behind it. I might even let go of my defense of the current choice. It’s at least an opening.

Questioning

Questioning my choices may be cutting myself short of a realistic answer. My process isn’t designed to question itself because it is the answers. It has the right reasons for my survival and simply applies an appropriate defense. Therefore, questions intended to check the reasons for a system of defense must come from outside the system. Questions from within a system of defense tend to confirm the system.

Perhaps questioning my intention,rather than my perception would open a space for something new. Change the input change the output.

This means I want to design questions that awaken the process and its system of defense to itself. The answers to those questions will bring enlightenment to the process and promote clarity to a paradoxical reality.

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My Music Calls Me Home

Ever listened to a piece of music and felt tears welling up? I hope you have – it’s a marvelous feeling. I’ve wondered if my reaction to such music connects “me” to a familiar timelessness from which we all spring. I wonder if such music is a call to come home – to our hearts.

C’mon Home

When I was a child, my mother would call out my name when it was time for me to come in to lunch or dinner. Her voice represented the mystical mother and son reunion of my ancient origin – home. Even today, I love to hear her voice – music to my heart.

Like many fellow humans, I feel a certain loyalty to family, town, and country. I’ve associated my name with these. Wherever I am in the world, I carry these identity markers with me.

Wherever I find myself in time, I carry a unique pattern of musical markers. These identify my particular song in the timelessness from which my consciousness arises.

My Musical Home

In my bubble of limited awareness, I find it easy to get caught up in the business of comparing, competing, and defending the right. I can sometimes get busy doing – so many projects, so many jobs, so many thoughts to consider.

Sometimes all this work gets tiring and I find myself wanting a break from it – a longing for home. One of my favorite methods for dealing with the loneliness is to indulge myself with music that inspires me to remember who I am.

Sometimes, the music calls me to trust my heart to take me where it will. I may then find myself deep in meditation that fills my gratitude pool to the point where it begins to spill over, cascading welcome-home tears down my face. Even when I’m far away in thought, the music brings me back to my heart.

Gratitude is my home.

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