“Everything feeds down here” represents my view of the instinctual world, in which every living thing must eat in order to survive. In this world, it feels like I have free will, and yet I experience a life of complete control – lots of “musts” and “have to’s” – needs.
All living things instinctively feed to survive. Humans have learned to feed on multiple levels of life, including themselves. There is a metaphoric similarity to the physical feeding process – at the psychological level. When the mind allows thoughts and emotions to create and play out need/fulfillment scenarios, loss and gain can seem just as real as at the physical level.
I define “feeds” as actions intended to satisfy a need by depriving another life form a choice of energy flow. A feeder is one who lives by this credo.
One type of feeder is the parasite, that takes from its host without apparent benefit to the host. I become such a feeder when I perceive a lack or need in my Self and consider a plan of action to fulfill that need at the expense and without regard for the welfare of an intended target. In that frame of mind, I seek out and find a target that represents what I believe will fill my lack. Then I act without conscience to take what I need – usually through attack. I then justify satisfaction of my need/fulfillment through defense of my actions – “I had to…” and “I had no choice…”
Soon, I find myself defending my defense – often by attacks of increased ferocity, which often results in even more feeding and more attacks. This self-supporting feeding pattern appears behaviorally like when one loses self-control – like losing one’s temper.
Recognize the Second Degree of Illumination defense in this?
Once a feeder draws life from its prey, a sense of disconnection occupies the feeder’s mind, which must forever after justify itself for an energetic reward. Psychological feeding becomes its own reward – a “fix” that I must have.
The feed process is a causal system:
- the mind allows thought to perceive lack in its Self.
- thought seeks to end lack by instinctual means – to act without conscience – conscious connection.
- thought closes the circuit of its process by justifying its actions and by attaching emotional support to thought truth – memory.
My mind begins to understand wholeness as I practice being aware of connection. When I believe I am whole, I can believe I am my own source.
