Due to my perception of ever-present danger inside the First and Second Degree Illumination bubble, I do whatever I can to control my life. I’m building what I believe is a safe representation of who I am in story form. My “documentary,” is a collection of memories, a string of emotional interpretations. Fear of not being right about my memories leads me to trust them when maybe I shouldn’t.
My story is actually a history of defense. I trust my memories to keep me feeling secure in the bubble.
What if I challenge my trust in my story? Would that challenge or invalidate my story? Would my story invalidate my life? How do I survive without a story I can justify? Do I need my memories to appear in chronological order to validate my belief in time?