judgemental

Boy in a Box

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Once upon a time…

A boy was born in a box. It was a nice enough box – plenty of room to play and explore. He was happy and satisfied. Life was good!

One day, his peace was disturbed by loud, discordant sounds with accompanying bumps to the box that frightened him. To make sure he was safe and secure inside his box, he added a layer of brick and mortar to the inside walls and a healthy dose of sound-proofing to block out the sound. “Ah!” he sighed. “That’s better!” As long as he could defend himself… Life was good!

Then the boy noticed some flaws in the walls. He got some plaster, paint and a brush and proceeded to cover the flaws. “That’s better,” he told himself. As long as he could cover the flaws… Life was good!

Soon, the boy began filling his box with all kinds of things – toys and stuff. As long as he had his stuff… Life was good!

The boy continued to play inside his box, plastering and painting to cover an ever-increasing number of flaws as the walls aged and adding layer upon layer of bricks and sound-proofing to satisfy his fears. “Peace,” he announced to himself. As long as he had peace… Life was good!

Day after day, year after year, he continued to add stuff to the box, plaster, paint, and brick the inside walls of the box. The boy began to notice that the box seemed to be shrinking. There was so much stuff in the box and the walls so thick he could no longer move about like he used to do. “That’s okay. I can do without so much movement.” he consoled himself. As long as he could keep his stuff and feel safe… Life was good!

At some point, the weight of the stuff, the brick, the mortar, and the paint gave way and the box crashed in on him. The boy couldn’t yell for help as he could barely breathe, and besides, no one would hear him through the thick walls. “At least I’m alive,” he comforted himself. As long as he was still alive… Life was good enough!

He had to do something about it, though… and do it soon! Life was going!

But it was too late, you see. Unable to move, and now breathe, he felt the enormous weight of his box crush down upon him and he breathed his last. Life was gone!

The boy had achieved his life’s goal…

…peace…

…at last…

…in a box…

…six feet under.

Judgments as Self-Awareness Resource

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What elicits your judgments? Why is that of value to you?

Inscribed prominently in the Temple of Apollo at Delphi is the ancient Greek aphorism, “Know Thyself” – the aspiration of most modern self-awareness movements – and the heart of conscious change work.

It is in my nature to judge my world – based on my values. I express my values through judgments. By judgment, I mean, “the evaluation of evidence to make a decision.” (Wikipedia) Evolved from Latin for “get value out of/from” – my evaluations are intimately associated with my values.

“Know thy judgments – know thy values.”

Read more Judgments as Self-Awareness Resource ›

Fear and Completion pt 3

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“Kapow!”

“Thanks, I needed that!”

I occasional employ a thought state-breaker like, “Snap out of it!” to awaken me through the use of fear. By using fear as a tool to create a startle response, I can stop my inner conflict with wholeness. I can help myself to move towards completion of something I feel is incomplete. I can break free of my stuck state of mind through a sense of completion.

From a motivational perspective, “state-breakers,” based on fear-as-a-tool, abruptly nudge my mind onto a different path. Using the not-too-subtle suggestions to, “Knock it off!” “Get your act together!” “Shape up or ship out!” “Yo dude!” “Hello?!”  “Really?!” “WTF?!” “Come again?!” and “*%$&#@$ – (%#@)*?!” I force myself out of a mental stalemate between fearful thoughts of defense and fearless thoughts of flow – towards completion of what I really want. Read more Fear and Completion pt 3 ›

Is Unconditional Really Conditional?

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Even love is conditional. Might that be what makes it special?

For years I’ve heard claims of the benefits of unconditional love. It is a new-age mantra that gets thrown about like a hackysack or bandied about like a balloon.

“We love you unconditionally.”

In principle, it sounds wonderful, sweet, and oh, so “higher frequency.” Yet, what does it mean in real practice?

Two fairly obvious complications pop out at me:

  1. What does “unconditional” mean?
  2. What does “love” mean?

How unconditional can I be in a world based in duality? By duality, I mean, is and is not. There is blue and that which is not blue, for example. Duality – something compared to something ELSE. Read more Is Unconditional Really Conditional? ›