Or, how I resist change in a world of change, feeding on the new to preserve the old.
All stories, even literal ones, are expressed in symbolic ideas. Aspects of me enjoy feeding on ideas. From the author of the story who feeds on sales royalties to readers who devour the author’s story, everyone
I have to have a story-line – it’s my justification for existence. That story is at the core of every thought I have, every choice I make. It is the bones, the structure of my reasoning. Perhaps that structure has to do with my truths – my values. Who I think I am.
In my First-Second Degree of Illumination, babies represent the favored food of most predators. Predators tend to prefer their food fresh, full of vitality and possibilities, and easier to procure. It’s a fact of the jungle.
Inside my head, ideas compete for my attention. Those I attend to grow and mature while those I ignore tend to die off. Ideas represent life as experiences within the story.
Instinctively, well-established, well-defended, and predatory older ideas tend to devour newer, younger ideas. Even when a new idea is given attention and approval, old ideas may still overwhelm (“eat”) it. It’s part of my defense of rightness program.
Old ideas tend to follow a process of defense. This looks a lot like politics, in which I appear to make changes while not making a change:
- Resist change at all cost;
- Failing that – a new idea comes up – I seek to repeal the change;
- If repeal fails – and a new idea begins to stick – I seek to incrementally change it to resemble the old thought;
- Failing that, the old hides behind the new, seeking to take credit, mingling the old with the new and calling it progressive.
Feeding on Ideas
I’m pretty much an indiscriminate feeder – preying on all sorts of ideas in the form of emotions – as long as my “food” pleases my palette and satisfies my needs.
In this manner, I retain order in the jungle of my mind.
Through emotional sensitivities, I feed my need to keep the old-guard in place – resistant to substantive change. Even when I perceive change, things soon revert to “stable” old ways.
All this keeps old beliefs safely in place – and my conscious awareness securely within the bubble.
And yet, feeding promotes ever more feeding… until it can’t. Then what happens?