Many emotional therapies focus on clearing, therapeutically, negative emotions or “charge” associated with traumatic events, personal failures, and interpersonal attachments, etc. This presupposes that negative emotions serve no useful purpose and therefore must be eliminated in order for one to feel and behave well and generally live a happier life as a result. It often also presupposes that release of “negative” emotion will somehow magically create a space for and be filled with “positive” emotions.
Is there a place for my “negative” emotions? How can my negative emotions serve a useful purpose?
Some years ago I noticed my eyesight was changing. So, after many hours of eye exercises that didn’t seem to work for me, I saw the optometrist, who told me that my lenses were deteriorating – no amount of exercise was going to change that. I was farsighted and getting more so every year.
Okay, I figure – it’s just another turn in my life that I can deal with as I go along. Glasses is certainly NOT the end of my eyesight. I chose a nice set of glasses and could once again see clearly. As a fashion statement, my new glasses looked good on me, too. Cool!
As we mentioned in the last post, a story associated with emotional hurts is only useful to access its emotional load. Once the emotional load has been effectively dealt with, the hurtful story is of little or no consequence – perhaps for learning… maybe…
I justify my emotions with “reasons” – background stories that make my emotion and my subsequent behaviors seem realistic and reasonable. Those justifications are necessary as validation for my emotions – which emotions require some reason or justification for being. It’s a cycle of need as we’ve discussed earlier.
Does it not seem logical, then, that once I’ve dealt with the emotions associated with an event (hurtful story), I might invest future energy into emotions I want – rather than ruminating on stories that regenerate negative emotions I’d prefer to release and let go?
Our Universe is built on natural laws that govern relationships between forces and the energies with which they interact. These relationships can be expressed in the form of equations.
For example – the law of cause and effect governs actions and reactions between interdependent systems, where balance induces a common purpose. Balance is the key to equations and laws define the interdependent dynamics of balance.
When I slip, it's not funny! When you slip, it's hilarious.
Ah, emotions – the esoteric ambrosia of experience that fuels and is fueled by a need for entertainment in a reality based on separation.
Separation is inherent in entertainment – when something I consider negative happens to me, I consider it “experience” or “terrible” or “frustrating” or “provocative” – rarely “entertaining.” When I see the same something happen to you, I’m much more likely to find it “entertaining” even though I may also feel emotionally sympathetic to your plight. (Think slip and fall, or pie in the face, etc. – maybe funny to me, not so much for you)
Maybe separation is the critical factor in entertainment – providing one reason I find someone else’s experience entertaining – it’s NOT happening to me! In this case, entertainment is more a sense of relief even when I may be engaged emotionally – as in a movie or book.
Certainly it is possible to entertain oneself – like singing to yourself – yet even then, the REASON I find it entertaining may be because it FEELS like I am distant (separate) from some negative emotional aspect within me. In this case, self-entertainment may be self-separation or survival through dissociation.
And what to do about them. Based on the work of Aaron Beck and others, in Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, David Burns outlines 10 common mistakes...
Fear is an emotionally influenced response to danger or threat that motivates behaviors to mitigate the danger or threat. Humans and other animals ex...
In a previous post, we discussed projection as it relates to fear. I tend to defend myself from that which I fear in myself by denying its existence a...
He uses colorful language. That's colorful thinking. The world is so gray today. He sees the world in black and white. Such a colorful perspective! In...
What does it mean to be whole? How do I define it? Why do I feel the need to achieve it? Who will I be when whole? Fundamental to any discussion about...
Joseph and Carol Bennette are the product of their separate yet united journeys, two perspectives that complement each other, synergized into a much broader perspective - the Aha Zone.
