My Dualistic Nature

As one being, why do I feel so divided?

In my dualistic universe, oneness is represented in two aspects:  heart and mind. Each aspect understands and perceives life differently than the other. Their interaction produces a certain amount of conflict that I experience as perception and define here as “ego.”

Ego, therefore, is a metaphoric representation of the conflict I experience in the interplay between the two different perspectives: mind and heart. Ego also represents my strategy for resolving the conflict in order to return the system to balance, which balance cannot exist in my dualistic universe – in which mind and heart offer separate perspectives of the same thing, each believing it is THE perspective. Thus, my universe constantly appears to be in a state of conflict seeking resolution – ego, my agent of need.

Metaphorically, ego represents an imaginary border between mind and heart. I say “imaginary” because a 2-dimensional surface divided in half by a 1-dimensional line is still a 2-dimensional surface. 1-D lines can exist in a 2-D world only as imaginary concepts – not as real characteristics. Mathematically, the number of slices do not determine the toppings or size of a pizza.

I experience my ego by way of projection, which appear to me as thoughts, sensations, perceptions of my body, and its environment. I define projection here as a presentation of ego (conflict between heart and mind) onto the 2D (dualistic) surface of my consciousness in order to have an experience of separation from oneness that, though imaginary, seems real.


Seeking Is Key

Seeking is key to my next level of illumination, that is.

Ah – Seeking – a process inspired by a need to find validation for separation.

Seeking, in the metaphoric sense of the quest, intends to answer the question, “Who do I think I am [separate from and compared to others]?” This kind of seeking works to integrate and awareness of WHO I AM into the why, how, and what I experience.

I can only SEEK that which I think I already am NOT, I think I already do NOT, or I think I already have NOT. I SEEK that which I don’t think I already have, do, or am. Although seeking is an illusion of action – seeking never actually DOES, only ATTEMPTS to do something – it awakens within me a DESIRE to find the I AM level of my Self.

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Terrorism and the Birth of My Ego

The more terrified I feel, the easier it is to control me.

As a US veteran, I know the value of psychological warfare. In the military it’s known as “Psyops” – short for “Psychological Operations.” The positive side of psyops is the concept of defeating your enemies by befriending them. This tactic proved successful in the case of post-WWII Germany, Italy, and Japan. Although defeated militarily, they managed to come together with us afterwards, making future war far less likely.

One negative use of psyops is terrorism. The idea and goal behind terrorism is to effect and control a population through the use of violence and intimidation.

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