A Mantra for Accepting Accountability

Accountability! Ooh, scary word? Or invitation? Maybe a mantra can get me where I want to go…

While in the First-Second Degree of Illumination bubble of awareness, I view accountability in terms of blame – “Who did this?!” and “Who’s in charge?!” – looking for a scapegoat to take the fall. I’d like to go beyond that level of competition, defense, and suffering.

Maybe I feel I’ve had enough of it and want to “move on.”

Third Degree of Illumination traverses the “membrane” of the bubble awareness in an instant of choice – a choice point. I usually don’t recognize the point because it’s so fleeting – literally an instant of awareness – a sudden Aha. In that flash of presence, the default choice is to return to the familiar – the bubble. One must remain conscious to make an alternative choice to move on to Fourth Degree of Illumination Acceptance of Accountability.

That’s where a good setup comes in handy. I can use a mantra to prepare my consciousness so that when that instant of awakening comes, I stay attentive to it long enough to “move on” to full acceptance of accountability for my life. Rather than make the default choice to return to my bubble sleep.

I can use a mantra to move me closer to choice point – maybe even ring its bell more often than when I’m deeply asleep in the bubble.

Any choice has at least two options – so I devised a mantra that includes options (“or”) and assumes I’ve already selected and committed to one – the one already in my awareness. My choice mantra is a three-parter that sounds like this:

  1. “I am experiencing EXACTLY what I WANT to experience right now or I’d be experiencing something else.”
  2. “I’m doing exactly what I most want to do right now or I’d be doing something else.”
  3. “I have exactly what I want to have right now or I’d have something else.”

1-2-3, BE-DO-HAVE

I especially appreciate the second mantra: “I’m doing exactly what I most want to do right now or I’d be doing something else.” I occasionally find myself doing something I don’t like to do – like facing one of my personal demons, the plumbing. Rather than choose the default – get upset and look for someone to blame – I chant my “do” mantra to myself until my body/mind settles down. Then I get to work.

You see, whether or not I get upset, the job must still get done. I’d rather do the job with a smile than a frown. Within my bubble awareness, doing (action) is key to experience. For a quick morning “wake-up call” this second mantra really sets my day’s tone.

At bedtime, I chant all three and check my body for resistance (sensation). I then acknowledge the body part experiencing a sensation that comes to my attention by including it in my mantra like this: “Thank you, [body part experiencing sensation], for doing what I most want you to do right now.”

When one adopts this mantra as their personal truth, they tend to take accountability for their life and “magical” things start to happen. For one, when I am the responsible party, I have the power to make changes – NOT because I don’t like what I have; rather, because I LOVE what I have and want to experience something ELSE I’ll love, too.

Accepting Accountability

To make a substantial change in your life, consider accepting accountability for it – acknowledge that you are, do, and have what you currently experience because you WANT TO. How you feel about what you experience is your PAYOFF for being you having that belief.

Embrace your payoff – you love it, after all – and you’ve gone to some effort and energy to achieve it. Then look into what OTHER PAYOFF you might enjoy JUST AS MUCH and begin embracing that. Change will happen! Embrace it!

You might also enjoy achieving your current payoff in a different manner. Like the kid in the sandbox making a sand castle, you can play with your design as much as you wish until you get it “just right” – that is, you experience sufficient sensational payoff. Then, simply do it again with a new design. Creation is a fluid that responds to attention!

Remember: You’re living the dream! Everything in your life is YOU being, doing, and having YOU! Let’s acknowledge it, own it, embrace it, and accept it!

Oneness Apart from One

I define the concept one as the single source of everything – me, my projection of reality. I also define oneness as the condition of perceiving one as an individual separate from others. One cannot be measured by dividing self against itself, yet, oneness can as perception. Oneness doesn’t create, it only perceives an illusion of divisibility and indivisibility.

In oneness, I define everything in terms of perceived constituent parts (less than one). This compared to a standard, part compared to whole, content compared to context, and etc.

Oneness provides perception of this separation by defining boundaries or limits and assigning meaning. Like a whiteboard presentation, oneness equates to the whole whiteboard while the markings I make on the board appear to be separate yet are part of the whole whiteboard presentation. Content within context by way of definition.

About Definition

Mathematically and logically speaking, more or less than one is NOT one. Just as 2 is more than and therefore not 1, and .9 is less than and therefore not 1 either, I can use one as the reference point for comparisons. That is, one can perceive separation where there is none – by definition.

To make definitions, I measure me against not me. Oneness facilitates comprehension of me as an individual separate from not me.

One cannot be measured by dividing self against itself – one divided by itself is one. Yet, one can perceive more and less than as an illusion of separation.

Through the agency of choice, I can choose to perceive one as divisible, while remaining indivisible.

I measure what I value by attaching its importance and purpose to me. I perceive what serves me by supporting my reality and what threatens it.

My assigned values support me to experience competition for my perceived benefit or threat. That which I judge as winners or losers represent me as such. My judgements are my measure of self.

Everything and Nothing

I measure everything that I perceive affects my reality. The values I create are revealed through my projections. The concept “me” competes with the concept of “not me” to sustain this illusion of separation.

The values I assign between things allows me to perceive competition in myself. By measuring the loss and gain between values allows me to judge myself as a winner or loser. Measuring what limits me allows me to perceive what I am not.

What I am capable of as one with source is unlimited creation and unlimited experience. I already know how to create through competition and limitation.

Knowing I can create my experience in a new way, I give myself permission to explore even further than before.

Was This a Mistake?

“What mistake?”

In my bubble awareness, I experience fear as dread of my decision-making due to buyer’s remorse and post dissonance. After I’ve made a choice, a fearful afterthought of regret sets in motion more dread.

These afterthoughts are personal attacks or self-judgements based on self-doubt.

From the perspective of regret, I question myself about patterns of perceived mistakes,

  • “What’s wrong with me?”
  • “How could I make such a mistake?”
  • “Why can’t I do anything right?”
  • “Who do I think I am?”

From a conscious perspective, I question myself about patterns of perceived mistakes,

  • “What is the cause of my fear of making this choice?”
  • “How does my fear of making a mistake affect this choice?”
  • “Why am I perceiving this choice as a mistake?”
  • “Who am I to fear making this choice?”

How does fear affect my choices?

With practice, patterns of self-doubt develop into patterned thought-forms that automatically affect my ability to choose. Those defenses protect and validate patterns of regret, resulting in shame, blame, and guilt.

My present dread cause me to recall other times I made choices and felt the regret of making those mistakes about my choices. Such over-generalization (e.g., “I always make mistakes.” and “I can never be right!”) impose restrictions on any potential opportunities for making new choices. This affects my self-image (e.g.,”I’m a mistake!”) and consequently everything I perceive from that perspective.

Why would I allow fear to influence my choices?

I like to think I’m always choosing what’s best for me, yet, my choices often say different. Could I be protecting my past failed choices by validating that I can’t make good choices in the present? It’s possible that I’m merely defending what I believe cannot be changed. From my bubble awareness, I’m implying that I am my past mistakes. Because I am a mistake, I can’t help but make mistakes.

Who’s in charge?!

My need to maintain a specific self-image keeps me in check from changing that image. No matter how I doll that image up and set it on a pedestal, it’s still the same self image. How do I get out of this corner I’ve painted myself into?

Making mistakes is what choice is all about – each mistake offers an opportunity to consider another way of experiencing. What if choice is more of a game of chance than a test of what’s right and wrong?

Whose game is this?

Investments Can Create Problems

What about Investments?

In my bubble awareness, I perceive that I have a problems – “needs” – debts I believe were imposed upon me and that I must satisfy through endless personal investments. It’s like being in a pit, seeking to escape by digging deeper. Any hope for freedom only reinforces my investment to keep digging. A problem arises when I don’t recognize the futility of my situation.

As long as I believe that there are problems to be solved, I can never feel safe in my bubble awareness. Thus my investment in solutions in the form of weaponry, security, defense, and vigilance. Yet, does war solve the problem of war? How can a problem solve a problem? My need for investment in problems is not a solution.

Changing the context of my reality

The reason I believe there are problems to be fixed is because I believe I’m a problem that needs fixing. To change that belief, that reality, I want to see myself as I am rather than as I am not. Once I am no longer a problem nor a solution to a problem, I can choose to see reality as it is. I wonder, could this be the final solution?

Fear, Control, Choice, and Measurement

I am part of a species that likes to measure things. It’s a characteristic of bubble awareness, in which we compare and compete to control. All measurements require four elements that I can frame in four familiar questions:

  1. What is measured?
  2. How is it measured?
  3. Why is it measured?
  4. Who is doing the measuring?

In any measurement there is a standard that represents an agreement among those who do measurements. For example, a unit of distance measurement only works when everyone who uses it agrees to the same standard. Because the measurement game is about control, I abide by standards of control. Measurement is all about fairness, a subject of mythology we’ve discussed previously.

We know we can objectively measure the effects of physical forces like gravity and the strong and weak forces of electromagnetism. And because we can measure the effects of these things in our world, we seek to measure the effects of things within us that are non-physical, like thoughts and emotions, that affect us physically. I seek to impose an imaginary balance between these two worlds to control them.

How Do I Measure the Subjective?

There are forces within me that I seek to master. I mean those elements of perception that I experience as personal – emotions, preferences, thoughts, biases, and etc.

Measure things is part of a program of mastership over my creation, which I sense as control. I seek to control forces because I don’t like living under compulsion. I seek to control because I don’t like living with restrictions. All these likes and dislikes live within my subjective world. Can I measure fear in the same way? How could one determine its dimensions?

Of all the “things” in my subjective world, fear is the only one that controls me and I feel a need to impose on others. Could I measure those subjective aspects against other aspects of thought? I recognize that I am part of a group that has its own measurement standards that affect my personal and subjective affect measurements. Those include my “do’s” and “do not’s”, “rights” and “wrongs” – that justify and validate my experience with control.

Within bubble awareness, I experience this kind of control as choice, which represents the subjective conflict between compared concepts. Choice is often a matter of measuring, comparing, and then controlling – providing a sense of freedom without actually being freedom. Control is still control even when it appears as a free choice. I FEEL good about my choice, so I must BE a good person – under control. Confirmation bias confirms my judgment of the choice, therefore, I AM FREE! It is still control – over me – that I must defend. Where’s the freedom in that?


What if I transform control into direction in my world? Direction invites where control forces. Directions points in A direction rather than in THE direction.

Besides, direction is more energy efficient than control. It’s energy expensive to control and coerce. It’s just as energy expensive to live controlled. When I transform control into direction, I can utilize many more options without experiencing overwhelm of the entire subject.

By breaking down the unimaginably large into manageable, measurable smaller parts, I can much more easily comprehend, appreciate, and direct EACH to imagine and realize the WHOLE.

Ultimately I seek to realize myself outside bubble awareness – merging my personal consciousness with universal consciousness – where fear, control, and choice no longer have a measurable place. It’s simply a place of honoring.