Investigating How I Manifest My Life Story

In my limited awareness, I can interpret what I want to believe is true about me. Some of those beliefs I may not want to admit to – so I hide them in my secret vault of unawareness. However, that doesn’t stop them from manifesting!

It’s clear to me that even in manifestations of which I’m totally unaware lie useful feedback. Thus, manifestations offer a key to my understanding of me. In facing the secrets behind those manifestations, I create an opportunity for awakening.

Associating Cause and Effect

I associate my sense of knowing my life story as the cause of how something affects me. To me, it appears to be a simple cause-effect relationship. As I reach for further understanding and allow myself to be open, I may experience revelation into that which I’ve held secret.

It seems the more revelations I allow the less I fear revealing more – build my confidence with each revealing. The more I know about myself, the more I want to know – and the more confident I feel about asking. A sense of knowing begins to clarify who I am and what I truly want to experience.

Might that sense of knowing who I am affect my manifestations? And might those manifestations illustrate that sense of knowing? Might the association of Cause and Effect work as an indicator of what I believe about myself? That is, might my manifestations illustrate who I believe I am in the context of my life story?

Accountability and My Life Story

Life feels unsure until I feel sure about myself. Why? Because my relationships are an exchange of intentions in which I set myself up for an interaction that confirms my life story. I tend to manifest that which confirms my relationship with characters in my story. Even when unaware of my participation, I’ll still tend to experience results that conform to my intentions for the relationships in that story.

What if I self-regulate according to my life story. That is, I maintain my story in a bubble of limited awareness and I maintain limited awareness in order to experience my story as I’ve told it to myself. And I resist any and all detours from that story. Thus, I am accountable to the story, and the story is accountable to me. I wonder:

  • What’s so important about my story as I’ve expressed it?
  • How does this manifestation illustrate who I believe I am in this story?
  • Why so much investment in this story?
  • Who am I if not my story?
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Convoluted Identity, Convoluted Intention

In my bubble of limited awareness, I believe I know myself. I know what I want and need. I know my intentions. Then, why does life seem so uncertain when, at times, I don’t get what I intend?

My Convoluted Identity

I have my own story line based on my philosophies, which often get mixed with the story lines of others. This convolutes my identity, making it difficult to act with a sense of confidence. Sometimes it feels like I’m pretending to be what I deep down don’t feel is me – a lie. That lie affects all my relationships because it affects my identity, the central character in my story.

Especially when I’ve sabotaged my efforts, I feel there’s more than one me at work in here. That someone inside me is acting as a mimic of someone outside me who doesn’t like me much. Thus, the sabotage.

Sometimes my intention works out – though it often feels like it does in spite of my convoluted identity. This makes it sometimes difficult to have a clear intention.

Confusion on Top of Confusion

Feeling unclear about who I am can make it difficult to know who someone else is. This because I unwittingly externalize my unclear identity onto others. I feel confused and so, through transference, I perceive they feel confused. We’re confused! Within this confusion, I provide myself the perfect patsy upon whom to place the blame: you!

This often appears when my behavior is based on an attempt to be someone or something else – a persona.

Underlying every intention lie philosophies that identify who I believe I am in story form. I mostly learn who I think I am through feedback from others. And even then, I’m perceiving through a persona, an imagined identity, the result of convolution. Thus, I’ve created confusion on top of confusion!

Convoluted Intention

In the manifestation game, I’m always interacting with my beliefs. Sometimes I get what I want. I always get what I believe I need. No matter what, how, or why my intention, I’m going to get something I believe I need. What happens when I don’t know what I need because I’m unclear about who I am?

The “secret” to understanding the relationship between intentions and their effects is that

  • Everything I perceive manifests my intentions
  • Manifestation illustrates intention

I illustrate who I believe I am through my intentions as manifestations that appear in a metaphoric, meaningful story. A story made arcane by the convolution of identity and intention. To cut through the arcaneness of my story, I recognize that my memories and impressions about my experiences affect me today. My memories may be more than a series of historical documentaries. They may be illustrative stories about me. Thus, I might entertain some questions aimed at my memories:

  • What does that memory illustrate about what I believe today?
  • How does that memory illustrate who I believed I was in that experience?
  • Why do I continue to justify that belief today?
  • Who was I then and who am I now?
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Relationship Between Manifestation and Intention

Intention affects probability that affects manifestation.

When I perceive certainty as a necessity, possibilities become the enemy. In this limited state of awareness, my narrow view of what is possible defines the borders of what is probable in my creation. As I become aware that my intentions turn infinite possibilities into finite probabilities, my need for and defense of certainty can give way to the light of inquiry.

How might intentions affect probabilities?

Perhaps we can imagine probabilities as a subset of all possibilities. ALL possibilities exist in any given instant – in potential. Intention turns potential possibilities into probabilities that then manifest as outcomes perceived by an observer.

An observer (me) turns ALL possibilities into a few probabilities – with intention. My intention – whether conscious of it or not – dwindle a few probabilities down to a tiny few. Then those tiny few coalesce into one observation – that confirms the belief of the observer – me. Thus, I’ve successfully defended my certainty.

Is Intention a Game of Confirmation?

I like to think of myself as an individual among many other individuals – me vs you. I confirm this perception by perceiving my body separate from yours. In this way, I confirm MY belief as THE belief and then seek to enforce that belief unilaterally. I’ve even created a bias to automate this process – the confirmation bias. In a very real sense, EVERYTHING I perceive confirms my limited awareness of everything that can be believed.

Thus, the confirmation game is THE ONLY game in town.

Am I a Belief?

Maybe I can state that question, “Can I be anything else than a belief?” Maybe EVERYTHING is a belief – including ME, which is my perception that confirms a belief. And what is a belief? Maybe NO-THING… 😉

Could probabilities represent specifics of belief? And intentions represent the play of consciousness in that creation sandbox?

Turning an Intention into a Specific Manifestation

The more generalized my intention, the higher the probability I’ll be surprised at its manifestation. Intentions outside my awareness will affect the manifestation of my intention. Thus the surprise when intentions born of my unawareness result in “unintended” outcomes.

Because of my limited awareness, I’m unaware of who I am as a belief. Meanwhile, that belief continually manifests itself! As I become aware of this situation, I can question my manifestations to become aware of my intentions – and maybe the beliefs that drive the intention-manifestation bus.

Rather than experiencing surprise at “unintended” outcomes, I can instead notice what those outcomes say about what I believe. “I don’t want this [outcome]” turns into “I was unaware of my intention for this [outcome]. Now that I am aware, I can inquire into what I believe that brought about this [outcome].” This inquiry decreases confirmation certainty and increases the probability for an AHA moment.

“Inquiry is fatal to certainty.” (Will Durant)

Questioning My Certainty

For example, I might ask myself –

  • What does this [outcome] symbolize about me?
  • How  do I feel about this symbol?
  • Why am I defending this feeling?
  • Who am I as a result of defending this feeling?

Remember: the inquiry is all about exploration into realms of possibility – rather than to resolve an issue you have with an outcome you don’t like. It’s about awareness.

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A Competition between Stated and Unstated Intentions

In our previous post, we defined two types of intention. Each is a projected metaphor of belief about self that appears to satisfy an internal need to reclaim who we think we’ve lost.

  • Stated – A conscious plan to satisfy an internal need through external physical means.
  • Unstated – A need seeking satisfaction through internal non-physical means.

Unstated intentions can be exposed with “becauses…” Ex: Stated intention, “I intend to get that job!” Unstated intention, “…because I need to be okay.”

How might those intentions appear in an illusory perceptual world? In an energetic environment like our universe, consciousness perceives as a result of resistance. Perception of metaphoric projections of belief, therefore, represent resistance to self. Although perception affects appearance, appearance must mean something other than my perception of it. And so must intentions!

Maybe this accounts for why so few of my stated intentions turn out as I consciously intend them. My stated intentions all too often look more like wishes than plans. For example, “I intend to get that job.” Without a specific plan as to how I might accomplish this intention, I’m basically stating a wish, “I wish I had that job.” In this no-plan case, I’m expecting the entire universe to shuffle itself around to accommodate my wish. LOL – Not likely!

Confusion, Anyone?

Maybe I’ve developed a confusion about intention. Perhaps we can clear the confusion with some examples of each type of intention. There may be more types of intention than the two we’ve introduced in this article.

Stated intentions – as relates to external influence based on an internal perspective of self survival within an environment :

  • choice and accountability
  • form and function as human
  • body and gender
  • self awareness and mimicry
  • associations and reproduction
  • judgments, justifications, and apathy
  • benefits, threats, and defenses
  • behaviors, habits, and patterns
  • pleasure, pain, and other
  • preservation, destruction, and change
  • limitations, opportunity, and loss/gain
  • personality, cooperation, and competition
  • experience, memory, and imagination
  • education, beliefs, and perspective
  • race and cultures, and philosophies
  • life, death, and other

Unstated intentions – as relates to internal influence based on external survival – Why I:

  • react emotionally and mentally towards my environment
  • think and feel the way I do about who I am in relation to my environment
  • feel some things are important and other things aren’t
  • think and feel some people are important and others aren’t
  • feel the way I do in my relationships is everything to my survival
  • feel some things are fun, safe, connecting and others are dangerous, and etc.
  • believe my true feelings are about right and wrong
  • really do or don’t value my life
  • look, act, and do what I believe about myself
  • have habits, attractions, repulsions, and triggers that affect things and people in my environment

Representations

My perceptions are made up of symbolic representations of me and my environment. What should and shouldn’t represent me and my environment For example, I associate love with hearts, smiles, hugs, forgiveness, patience, kindness, respectful, and etc. Anything other than those symbols representing love, as I need to see it, represent something other.

My body, thoughts, and feelings respond to my judgmental symbols even when I’m consciously unaware of them. These deep-rooted biases can affect me and my environment in so many ways, like denying what’s right in front of me and attacking what I feel challenges my truths.

Intentions for my inner world and my outer world must remain intact regardless the cost. Backed by memories, my biases can defend my truths with extreme prejudice. And by acting out my indignant displays of positive and negative reinforcement, I work to protect those interpretations I impose on my intentions.

These symbols often hide from conscious awareness in a defense of blinding bias. Because of this defense, no stated intention is ever clear about its illusive unstated intention.

The Intention that Gets the Attention Wins

In the competition between stated and unstated intentions, the one that gets the most attention wins. Interestingly, this principle of attention works exactly the same when it comes to needs. That is, the need that gets the attention wins.

Might there be a direct relationship between needs and intentions? And might attention play a critical role in that dynamic?

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A Paradox of Convoluted Intention

Why doesn’t my life just work the way it’s supposed to? What am I doing wrong?!! How can I make life work for me? I wonder if I’m focusing hard enough or long enough. Maybe my focus is on what I don’t want rather than on what I want. Can my focus affect the outcome I’m hoping for in spite of my stated intentions? What if my stated intention isn’t my true intention? Would being more specific or determined help?

These kinds of questions and statements come from an unclear understanding of self in a bubble of limited awareness.

When my intentions repeatedly fail in disappointing outcomes, could I be unaware of what I’m intending? More importantly, why?

Perhaps there is more than one way to intend something. If so, Much can be explained for my sense of failure.

Paradox of Intentions

Let’s define two types of intention. Each is a projected metaphor of belief about self that appears to satisfy an internal need to reclaim who I think I’ve lost.

  1. Stated – A conscious plan to satisfy an internal need through external means.
  2. Unstated – A need seeking satisfaction.

Stated intentions can be exposed with “becauses…” Ex: stated intention, “I intend to get that job!” Unstated intention, “…because I need to be okay.”

This duality of intentions sets up a paradox of perception. I think I’m intending one thing while the result clearly demonstrates another intention is at work. Due to my lack of conscious self-awareness, many competing intentions convoluted probabilities of outcomes. So convoluted are my intentions that I cannot discern cause from effect – even when I THINK I can!

My Convoluted Intention

By denying my intention when I don’t like the outcome admits a belief in my powerlessness. Because I feel vulnerable, I get defensive. Defensiveness, in turn, affects my perception of outcomes, favoring those that confirm my belief! This confirmation adds to my sense of powerlessness and vulnerability – ramping up my defense as a result. This process results in a positive feedback loop in which any initial positive intention gets lost in ever-deepening denial.

For example, my friend says to me, “You hurt me when you…” Feeling vulnerable, I respond with denial, “That was not my intention to hurt you…” My denial confirms her blame and adds my defense to her hurt. All of which adds to my sense of rightness concerning my need to defend. I’ve increased the probability for a heated argument in which hurts grow while compassion and understanding play a decreasing role.

Taking accountability and admitting I was unaware of my intention, confirms my part in the outcome. It also lessens the sense of need for defense, opening my heart and mind to compassion and understanding. Thus, I retain my power and set up a situation in which I can adjust my stated intention to produce a different outcome.

For example, someone says something like, “You hurt my feelings.” This is feedback for me – when I hear it with my heart rather than with my ego. I check my defenses, take accountability for my creation, and accept my intention that resulted in this feedback. “I was unaware that I intended to hurt you. However, now that I am aware of my intention, what do you need?” This opens an internal dialog in which I may ask myself, “What do I need?”

After release of defensiveness, accountability connects stated and unstated, external and internal. Thus resolving the paradox.

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