Comparing Is Natural
What are you doing right now? Notice the comparing you are engaged in after reading that question. Comparing is so natural to us that we are mostly unaware of just how much of it we’re doing.
All comparing is based on relationships between you and not you. Whether obvious or invisible to your senses, you’re always comparing.
We can compare because we are capable of separating our own experiences from those of others through judgments. Yet, we are just as capable of imagining the experiences of others, which seems to increase judgment capability.
The Dual Purpose of Comparing
Along with judging differences, which builds walls between right and wrong, there are judgments of sameness that help build connections. Practicing the latter can reveal how difficult it can be to create connections outside judgments of right or wrong.
Some of the ways duality shows up in comparing my reality of me to myself and me to others –
Me compared to myself:
- Yesterday to today and tomorrow
- Who I think I am to who I should be
- My accomplishments to my failures
- My intentions to my outcomes
Me compared to others:
- Differences in authorities
- Skills and talents
- Education and training levels
- Wisdom and understandings
- Changes over time – who we were yesterday, are today and will be tomorrow
- Who I think I am to how another should be
- Intentions and outcomes
In my bubble of limited awareness, I naturally compare what I perceive. From my perceptions, I create the need to divide and define every thing to validate that need. I assign a boundary to everything that I perceive can be separate from all other things. Thus, I divide up what I perceive as one whole – making separate through perceptual differences.
Knowing I Resist
Those perceived differences form the boundaries that define the means of resistance between me and everything else. Because I divide up wholeness, I can see more clearly how I associate likenesses and differences between things. Yet, knowing in some ways that they are the parts that make up the whole.
By seeing the contrast, I can experience relationships! Those relationships that define my defenses are my experiences. This allows me to define my reality and therefore my purpose within that reality.
My purpose is tied to my ability to maintain resistance, another word for defense, which includes:
- Perceiving separateness
- Dividing wholeness into things
- Assigning boundaries
- Perceiving characteristics that validate separation
- Making sense of separateness as reality
- Giving separateness a purpose in connection
- Validating conflict
- Resolving conflict by creating similarities
- Supporting and focusing on similarities
- Connecting similarities to create flow
- Appreciating creations without judgment
- Releasing the need to defend
- Embracing change
Thus, I more clearly see who I believe I am. Because I’m capable of dividing wholeness into separate parts, I’m equally capable of uniting what was never truly separate. The connection of one thing to another begins a new adventure – that of putting back together what I have divided.