Why I Argue

Value cannot be increased by perceiving decrease of it in another.

Ah, arguing – my need to prove my value by upstaging the resourcefulness of others in an effort to get my need for validation met, appearing more right than others as a means of showing value. This lack of understanding limits me from feeling secure with who I am.

Arguing IS the point –

Objective Argument – The relationship between two or more aspects of a whole, such as cause and effect, up and down, close and distant. These are external to the mind and include measurements, mathematical calculations, empirical evidence, etc.

Subjective Argument – My perceptions and judgements attached to objective arguments. These are internal such as thoughts, feelings, character evaluations, moralities, etc.

If I endeavor to prove my value by proving rightness, I may feel driven by that agenda to be acknowledged as relatively more important by diminishing the worth of others. The intent in this model is to belittle others by means of proving them wrong. This can create an image of the belittler as petty and mean-spirited.

When my intent is to bring truth to light, my goal is to encourage individual collaboration to that end, I utilize argument as a tool for clarifying understanding, I remove offense and defense from the equation, and the result is an honoring of value individually and universally.

Read more Why I Argue

Communication – Why Do I Speak?

I’m at the table with three of my teenage grandchildren – cousins. I’m listening, they are speaking – sometimes loudly. It’s not a fight or argument, they’re just chatting about nothing in particular. Still, no matter the subject, each feels the necessity to participate verbally – sometimes simultaneously. I find it fascinating…

Why do they speak? Why do I speak? I wonder.

Sure, speech is one way we communicate ideas with others. Yet with verbal communication accounting for less than 15% of the total, I have to wonder why speak at all. What’s in it for me, the speaker? Read more Communication – Why Do I Speak?