My life is not about achieving perfection. That’s already done. I am perfectly me already. HOW I express the perfect me and how I interpret feedback from others can sometimes lead me to believe I’m imperfect.
I’ve tried chasing perfection and it’s a frustrating, tiring, tail-chasing experience I don’t recommend.
I have a marvelous capacity for learning, which can sometimes confuse me about myself. For example, I learned that what I DO defines who I AM. It’s not true – total falsehood – no matter how strongly I believe it. Yet, I learned it and that learning has confused me from time to time. I am SO much more than what I do.
Much of my confusion about myself was learned through painful experience. Pain, although a useful messenger, can be a terrible master. Learning from this master, I’ve become skilled at confusing logic levels – confusing DOING with BEING. Sometimes, I’ve even confused the HAVING logic level with the BEING logic level.
The messenger is not the message! The map is not the territory. Doing is not being!
What I DO can help indicate who I AM, yet, WHAT I DO IS NOT WHO I AM.
I AM being perfectly. How I interpret my perfection is indicated in how I express it. In degrees of illumination in which I have yet to take full accountability for myself, I tend to equate worth (a quality of being) with how productive I am – what I DO. Society determines my identity at this level of ignorance of who I really AM. To the degree I align my self-identity with my social environment, I buy into this illusion.
After taking on full responsibility for myself, I begin to understand who I AM based less on what I do than simply my (and everyone else’s) intrinsic value. Worthiness then becomes a given – life is worthy.
As I increase my acceptance of more and more illumination, I come to realize my perfection AS IT IS. ALL that I do, then, is appreciated as an expression of my Self in this, my creation.
Regardless of which degree of illumination I experience, WHO I AM, filtered through ego, determines WHAT I DO. THAT is the logical flow of life: Be > Do > Have.
When I do healing work, it is work on my ego filters rather than on my Self identity. Who I am is already perfect and requires no healing (as in fixing). Where my ego filters cause me to behave (DO level) in ways that fail to align with my Self (BE level), I can adjust, move, and nudge into alignment (DO level). In this way, I keep my logic levels straight – doing at the doing level, being at the being level).
I AM NOT what I DO. My world is NOT my mind’s map of it. The image I see in my mirror is NOT ME. The mirror my world presents me IS NOT ME. It is rather my ego-filtered interpretation of me expressing myself. The clearer the ego-filters, the clearer the image I’ll view – and yet, it is still, NOT ME!