Need = “a thing that is wanted or required.” My mind uses four essential equations to satisfy perceived lack.
- What = identity of the need. “What is wanted?”
- How = structure of the need. “How is it wanted?”
- Why = defense of the need. “Why is it wanted?”
- Who = source of the need. “Who wants it?”
All choice is based on need, motivated by a sense of lack, and defended by reason and justification.
Justification loops look like this and tend to lead to stuck, less resourceful states:
What
↑ ↓
Why
How
↑ ↓
Why
Why
↑ ↓
Why
Who
↑ ↓
Why
Why, why, why, why, why…!!!!
It seems the more I choose, the more I need to choose, especially those choices that justify my reality. The more I need to defend my choice, the more I value the need to defend. I’ve switched from the content of what I want to the context of validating my rightness.
I reduce choice to a loop of need and defense:
need
↑ ↓
defense
I make a choice based on my sense of lack of control. Then I defend my choice and away I go into the need-defense loop that once started, spirals rapidly out of my control. Subsequently, I’m far less likely to come up with a useful strategy or take any constructive action toward satisfying my needs. Instead, I tend to resist substantive change by defending the status quo.
In an effort to counter the overwhelm and maintain a sense of peace, I put this need-defense equation on automatic. I’ve become a slave to this single kneejerk equation.
All choice is based on need. There is no freedom of choice… as long as there’s a perception of separation. My essential mind control equation has become:
I AM = My Needs + My Defenses
