I live in a society that values choice. A place where the exercise of freedom equates to an exercise in choosing. I translate my well-exercised ability to choose into my right to judge – as choosing requires judging.
I’ve spent a lifetime comparing people and things, developing a high level of sophistication in knowing what’s best.
When I Judge things as having value, I assume I know what things are worth. I believe I’m being accountable and realistic. Choosing represents my sense of freedom to act on knowing.
Choosing disguises expectation – my need to be in charge of causality. Yet, without sufficient understanding that I’m choosing from need, the consequences will likely affect outcomes in ways that are unexpected – frustration!
Needs, Judgements, and Equations
My need to judge creates a need for equations – my logical conclusions that represent the balance I seek, which is between me and “not me” – which my judging those relationships “should” satisfy.
My need to exist, as I am, determines the value or worth of “not me” by assigning “not me” a value defining its difference s from me. I equate my assigning value as how right I am in comparison to “not me.”
The fundamental concept of separation.
I can turn my freedom into an ability to choose and my being right into an assign-able value that equates to justifying by fulfilling a need to judge.
There’s a conflict!
I often choose to defy those rules I create to apply to “not me.” With every judgement and assigned value to “not me,” I’m judging my own value and therein lies the conflict!
Could freedom of choice be an artifact of the survival instinct?
The goal of all instinct is certainty in survival. When I project a need for certainty, my need to survive transforms my perception of “not me” into a life or death situation. The first tool I grab hold of is my bias, which I fully extend as a defense against “not me,” the threat to who I think I am.
When my comfort zone has been compromised, I’m on high alert to defend my space of right to exist over “not me,” right to choose over “not me,” freedom to be over “not me,” and etc. My instinct is to fight against any threats I’ve symbolized as what intends to assign my value as different than what I think it should be – somewhere above other’s values. I act to protect myself.
The more I think upon what freedom really means to me, the less I feel free and am inclined to make choices that are based on judgements. I wondering if that is possible!
