Forced Awakening

Awakening – To become aware and cognizant.
Force – A compulsory action.

Through the exercise of willpower, I intend to force my will upon myself and others in an attempt to control them. This falls solidly in the First Degree of Illumination, in which, through sheer force of will, I survive in a reality I believe I did not create.

I feel I must force my awakening onto reality through the attention I draw to myself as separate. I force separateness within oneness.

I experience force as the result of its interaction with resistance. On a psychological level I interpret this interaction as coercion. My:

  • physical body exists in a reality of resistance in the presence of force.
  • senses interpret force as light, sound, scent, temperature, pressure, gravity, and etc.
  • mind applies force of will to what I resist and then I resist – circular!

When I sense a deficit in my hearing feedback, for example, I become concerned, I blame external forces, I first seek a less pragmatic solution, I feel I must compensate for it by applying power of will to my imagination. “I have to fix this!” Even though I perceive a problem, I perceive the force I intend to employ against it as beneficial.

Awakening in First Degree Illumination

I require resistance to experience a physical reality. My mind is capable of constructing and defending any reality that confirms my beliefs . I may feel the need to expose myself to invasive stimuli that control my imagination and/or force my will into compliance with a reality outside my present understanding. Thus, forcing an awakening?

When my forced awakening validates my current beliefs, conditionings, perceptions, prejudices, and etc., such awakening may prove limited in its usefulness because of confirmation bias and my need to keep the status quo. In other words, forcing an “awakening” against my conscious will may initiate the Second Degree protocol – defense – likely “awakening” me safe and sound and back into First Degree Illumination, “Not gonna try that again!”

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