Fear, Control, Choice, and Measurement

I am part of a species that likes to measure things. It’s a characteristic of bubble awareness, in which we compare and compete to control. All measurements require four elements that I can frame in four familiar questions:

  1. What is measured?
  2. How is it measured?
  3. Why is it measured?
  4. Who is doing the measuring?

In any measurement there is a standard that represents an agreement among those who do measurements. For example, a unit of distance measurement only works when everyone who uses it agrees to the same standard. Because the measurement game is about control, I abide by standards of control. Measurement is all about fairness, a subject of mythology we’ve discussed previously.

We know we can objectively measure the effects of physical forces like gravity and the strong and weak forces of electromagnetism. And because we can measure the effects of these things in our world, we seek to measure the effects of things within us that are non-physical, like thoughts and emotions, that affect us physically. I seek to impose an imaginary balance between these two worlds to control them.

How Do I Measure the Subjective?

There are forces within me that I seek to master. I mean those elements of perception that I experience as personal – emotions, preferences, thoughts, biases, and etc.

Measure things is part of a program of mastership over my creation, which I sense as control. I seek to control forces because I don’t like living under compulsion. I seek to control because I don’t like living with restrictions. All these likes and dislikes live within my subjective world. Can I measure fear in the same way? How could one determine its dimensions?

Of all the “things” in my subjective world, fear is the only one that controls me and I feel a need to impose on others. Could I measure those subjective aspects against other aspects of thought? I recognize that I am part of a group that has its own measurement standards that affect my personal and subjective affect measurements. Those include my “do’s” and “do not’s”, “rights” and “wrongs” – that justify and validate my experience with control.

Within bubble awareness, I experience this kind of control as choice, which represents the subjective conflict between compared concepts. Choice is often a matter of measuring, comparing, and then controlling – providing a sense of freedom without actually being freedom. Control is still control even when it appears as a free choice. I FEEL good about my choice, so I must BE a good person – under control. Confirmation bias confirms my judgment of the choice, therefore, I AM FREE! It is still control – over me – that I must defend. Where’s the freedom in that?


What if I transform control into direction in my world? Direction invites where control forces. Directions points in A direction rather than in THE direction.

Besides, direction is more energy efficient than control. It’s energy expensive to control and coerce. It’s just as energy expensive to live controlled. When I transform control into direction, I can utilize many more options without experiencing overwhelm of the entire subject.

By breaking down the unimaginably large into manageable, measurable smaller parts, I can much more easily comprehend, appreciate, and direct EACH to imagine and realize the WHOLE.

Ultimately I seek to realize myself outside bubble awareness – merging my personal consciousness with universal consciousness – where fear, control, and choice no longer have a measurable place. It’s simply a place of honoring.

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