“It’s not fair!”
Ever hear that? Perhaps you’ve even said it once or twice yourself.
the phrase that never pays
My concept of fairness is due to my threat vs benefit mental program that assigns significance by comparing the value of one thing against another.
The level of importance I place on my judgment determines my degree of need for defense against the threat of losing validation of my rightness.
What is fairness? Why is it important to me?
The idea that I believe in fairness derives from my belief that I can negotiate personal value. This process distinguishes things according to my evaluation of their contributions to my view of the world as it “should” be.
Although rational philosophy defines fairness in terms of equity, my ego defines it as, “That which benefits me most and threatens me least.” Justice, then, is defined as, “My interests compared to yours.”
The phrase that could pay
When I hear the phrase, “It’s/that’s not fair” it could pay me to ask the questions, “What is fairness?” and, “Why is this particular issue important to me?”
Resources:
- The Work by Byron Katie – Her process is very simple and effective
- The Seven Degrees of Illumination – where you can download the one-page handout
